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What it means to have on office on-board...

Discussion in 'General Yachting Discussion' started by Capt. Joe, May 4, 2004.

  1. Capt. Joe

    Capt. Joe Guest

    I have to share this 'cause it's killing me. Everyone I see coming down the dock on my CCTV I jump up from my desk and like an old fishwife I just have tell them what happened today.
    I have an office on the boat and I'm doing reports and paperwork and trying to stay tuned to YachForums at the same time, and The Troutman of course, and here is today's once in a lifetime, one for the memories, America's Most Funniest, you don't see THIS every day of the week at your marina...

    We have a lot of cop friends / neighbors at our marina.
    This guy I have known for 20 years and am currently helping to work his way through his third ex wife, we will call "Randy", is walking to his car and observes the owner of a large bareboat charter carry two good size plants down to his boat.
    Within good hearing range of a number of bystanders shooting the breeze in front of the office, Randy makes several calls to local metro police agencies on his cell phone, until finally someone cares (or has no other business) and considers the off duty narcotics officer's report of potplants being carried aboard a vessel, worth while to pursue.
    A few miles away, a dark and sinister drug interdiction Zodiac and two metro marine units are dispatched, as well as three black & whites from 49 division.
    One of the bystanders, a known pothead, immediately rushes to the boat owner's assistance by informing him that THEY are coming.
    So the boatowner just stands on the end of the pier and motions to the incoming; "Over Here! I Am Right Here!"

    So, it turns out my friend was a little mixed up, was not properly trained in the art of recognizing the real thing, and they were common house plants...

    God, I laughed so hard. I thought, man, my office is on a boat, I am surrounded by a couple of hundred power and sail boats that need an insurance survey about every five years, ... I see my buddies display their expertise at fine police work, about entertainment. I love my job! :)
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2004
  2. YachtForums

    YachtForums Administrator

    Dec 22, 2002
    South Florida
    LOL! Good story, Joe. Around these parts, if you call the police more than X times in a given period, you get charged $$$. I wonder how they handle one of their own for calling in a false report. :D

    What infuriates me is when the marine patrol, coasties, etc. carry out boarding inspections for no other apparent reason then... to check out the chicks onboard!

    This is one of the reasons we are adament about guests and passengers not having or using any kind of drugs on our boats. About a year ago, one of our guests brought a friend along that had a bag of pot with him. When I discovered it, I swiftly grabbed it and thru it over-board. I reached in my wallet and gave the guy a $100 bill, along with an invitation to NEVER come onboard our boat again!

    Most land-lubbers are unaware of the serious penalties imposed for having narcotics onboard a boat. The only authority I want relieving me of possession of my vessel is... the bank, if I fail to meet my obligations!

    Don't get me wrong, I don't care what chemicals someone puts into their body. I tried pot in high school. It just made me stupid and I needed all the gray matter I could muster up, to make the grades to get into a good college. Heck, I've put worse chemicals in my body that any illegal drugs, like the aspartame in Diet Coke or Jack Daniels used to occasionally add flavor. For all practical purposes, I should be prisoner of my own body due to all the solvents and paints that I've inhaled over years. :(

    Well, enough ranting. Anybody else dealt with situations like this?
  3. Capt. Joe

    Capt. Joe Guest

    "I swiftly grabbed it and thru it over-board. I reached in my wallet and gave the guy a $100 bill, ..."
    Well I tell ya, that was a lot more civilized than what I would be doing if I caught someone in US waters bringing ANYTHING that could get me on the wrong side of the Law aboard any vessel that I am in charge of. (Canada is a little different but I'd still ask you to put it away and never to bring it again!)
    And not because I'm a prude, I have burned my fair share of braincells in the seventies, but because of the sheer, blatant lack of respect such a thing represents toward the vessel and her owners...