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Boat Jokes...

Discussion in 'Popular Yacht Topics' started by YachtForums, Jan 12, 2004.

  1. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    “Do Not Touch”
    Must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille
  2. JWY

    JWY Senior Member

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    It's been over a year since this thread has created chuckles, so here goes:

    Q: Why are seagulls called seagulls?
    A: Because they fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

    :D
  3. Oscarvan

    Oscarvan Senior Member

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    Oh no....

    Attached Files:

  4. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    E0F03CE6-8FE4-4623-B967-976F0FDEEA3B.jpg
  5. Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    After all the toilet paper has been hoarded, I've been reduced to using a Lettuce leaf in an emergency.

    I feel this is just the tip of the Iceberg.
  6. Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    A friend on a German yacht tells me everyone is panic buying sausages and cheese.
    They’re looking at a Wurst Käse scenario.
  7. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    tv.jpg
  8. Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    E4836C18-04E7-4473-B41D-C1AD06E8B4D1.jpeg
  9. Jorge Lang

    Jorge Lang Senior Member

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    There's a new movie being released on HULU, it's called Constipation.

    It's not out yet.
  10. Jorge Lang

    Jorge Lang Senior Member

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    Now you got me going.
    lettuce.jpg
  11. Kevin

    Kevin YF Moderator

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    Did you hear about the yacht builder that had to work from home?

    His sails went through the roof.
    YachtForums likes this.
  12. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the Spar grocery store that opened at 8 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
    He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
    As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you old farts don't let me unlock the door, you'll never get in there."
  13. Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    A Greek and an Irishman...


    A Greek and an Irishman were sitting at Starbucks comparing their two cultures.

    Over a latte, the Greek said, "We built the Parthenon and the Temple of Apollo."

    "Well, it was we Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices."

    "But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics."

    "Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces."

    "Well it was the Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity."

    "Yeah, but it was the Irish who got women involved."
    Kevin likes this.
  14. Boatbuilder

    Boatbuilder New Member

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    Dr. Fauci, the Pope, Hilary Clinton, Donald Trump, and a 10 year old girl were the only passengers on a plane. The captain announces the plane is going down, and they must parachute out.
    Now there are only 4 parachutes for the 5 passengers. Dr. Fauci says “I must jump, I need to find a cure for Covid-19”, and out he goes.
    The Pope says “I must be there to comfort the people in this crisis”, and out he goes.
    Hilary Clinton says “I’m the smartest woman in the world”, and away she jumps.
    Donald Trump looks at the 10 year old girl and says “I’m 76 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you...you take the last one”
    The 10 year old girl says, “No we still have 2 parachutes, Hilary Clinton took my backpack”
  15. Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    Managed to get a mask from an old sea dog.

    [​IMG]
  16. Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    Airbus or Boeing pilot..?

    41AA1577-DEF1-44A1-85F2-95C382D14E71.jpeg
  17. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    If you can not hold a real yoke between your legs...
  18. Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

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    “Yeah, if it ain’t Boeing, I ain’t going” was the old slogan.

    These days: “If it is Boeing, it ain’t going”
    :(
  19. Capt Ralph

    Capt Ralph Senior Member

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    Real pilots don't have problems with the 737 MAX, So let them the fly da birds till the lesser wonder chickens catch up.
    We don't need no stinking software, real pilots pilots required to safely fly....