An old Roamer story from the old site. 2004

Better get those props right boys!

Dark Rock, a 1960 30’ down at the heels steel Roamer was waiting in its primer gray paint in a small tributary to the Potomac River. Its twin corvette engines burbling, cooling water flowing out the exhaust pipes, dropping a few inches into the river. The boat was running light. “I’ll show this fancy Capt. Eric with his fancy aluminum boat and big engines what speed is all about!”
Then the captain saw his target and his lips parted in a cruel grin. Gin and Tin, gleaming on this fine summer day, its flags flying was heavily loaded with summer supplies, full tanks and running slow trying to conserve the fuel that the thirsty 454s' were gulping.

Flicking his cigarette butt overboard the new owner of Dark Rock hit the throttles. The stripped out boat responded immediately. No more head, no more ‘Oh man it’s an Onan’ gen set, nothing unessential to add weight was left onboard.

Captain Eric caught the glint from some of Dark Rock's broken glass and instantly knew he was in trouble. Knocking over his beer as he reached for the throttles he barked out orders “Hang on kids, everybody grab something” When he hit the throttles the engines bogged down, the big Holly Double Pumpers supplying more air than the 454s could handle. Finally they started making power and the bow rose skyward. Fumbling for the trim tab switch he regretted bringing along the Jetski that was hanging from the davits. He saw Dark Rock heading for him on an intersecting course. If only he could get up on plane sooner he would make it. It was too late. He saw Dark Rock starting to bank, showing its clean bottom to them. A moment later all of Gin & Tin was covered in oily river water followed by a flying Jim Bean bottle and a wave and smile from the skipper.

From: Eric Nordac
To: CC_Roamers@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 8:08 PM
Subject: Re: [CC_Roamers] Props, Performance...Suddenly Concerned with Speed....

But wait,..., no sooner than the "Dark Rock's" captain drew in the sweet draughts of victory, than out the shadows of the nearby 301 Bridge, sprang the evil-minded fleet of local Sea Rays. Relishing the recent sight of interneccine Roamer warfare, their meticulously well-groomed leader, Sir Gotbigbucks, tugged on the cord of his Apelco radio phone as if to whip on his motley crew with a fevered grip, "...and remember, take no prisoners, leave no hatch unopened, and be sure to grab the Club burgee. It's fifty lashes for the man that gets there last", he snapped as his tossed back another Slo Gin Fizz and paid no heed to the fast approaching weather front.
Indeed, by then, the late summertime air crackled with electricity as yet another 105 degree day built up a king thunderhead ready to lash the shoreline and punish any stragglers. Weary of combat himself, the Gin & Tin's captain almost failed to look back as he too headed back home, ranting about Bull Dog 540s and Englishmen.
But through the gathering storm, he saw them: the dreaded Sea Ray contingent.
They had not eluded his keen eye -- they were a sight he had grown to hate, to scorn, and even pity, as the long summer months of many years had passed by. He also knew that the rookie Roamer captain, like a returning flyboy buzzing the aerodrome, paid no heed to the ultimate price that such high jinx can sometimes cost. And today looked pretty bad.
Yes indeed, the gathering Sea Ray fleet had split in two, angling to cut off their prey and finish off the deed. Bashing through the Potomac's mighty two foot whitecaps they circled, throwing caution to the wind and a month's grog rations at the now paralyzed Dark Rock captain. "We got'ca now Roamer boy." " Hand over the burgee and nobody gets hurt!" "Bad boy, bad boy, whatca gonna do, whatca gonna do when we pee on you!"
Such was the trash spewing from their mealy mouths, foaming at the thought of another Roamer kill. Yes, this was what they lived for, dreamt about, and planned, oh so fiendishly - and Sir Eric knew it.
Singlehandedly he had fought off their unending attempts to make the river their own personal "Sea Ray Alley", sneering at the right & lawful rule of Chris-Craft and the benighted Roamer brotherhood. And today was going to be no different, he could just smell the plastic burning in the air, the smell of victory,..., and couldn't wait to remind them one last time: "It's a pennant, not a burgee, you clam-digging lugs"
To be continued.....

Wally Erickson <wlerickson@cox.net> wrote:

The commander of Dark Rock threw down his Webster’s New World Dictionary in disgust after looking up interneccine and realized trouble was ahead and trouble behind. He parted the Sea Rays like Moses parted the Red Sea and then put the helm hard over and followed in their wake. At first it looked like he would be joined in battle but heard over his crackling radio something about a Boat US insurance agent screaming to call it off, the old Roamer was not insured!
He could see Tin Tonic was down but not out, the crew frantically cleaning the windshield with Windex and paper towels. TT was defiantly insured and they were going after her. The Rays were slowing, trying to coordinate with their leader over the pending attack. Dark Rock split them again and was nearing TT to help defend her when the port engine blew her oil rings. Thick blue smoke billowed out the exhaust and filled the river. As the Rock swept by TT, TT followed in the haze to the small tributary off the river. Just then the Capt. Of the Dark Rock noticed blue flashing lights of the EPA River Police converging on the hapless Sea Ray group and then saw the TT Capt. Eric replacing the mike on the radio. As the smoke settled over the Sea Rays the skipper of Dark rock through over some old tire fenders and motioned TT to join him.


Post script:
It was discovered through subsequent investigations that Mr. Gotbigbucks was John Anderson of Arthur Anderson Inc and was taken into custody for accounting irregularities and tax evasion. Several of the Sea Rays were found to have Nitrous Oxide Fuel systems and were impounded by the EPA. Sincerest thanks are given to the anonymous tipster for protecting our nations waterways.