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Off topic: Warped thoughts from an Amsterdam-bound Admin...

Discussion in 'YachtForums Yacht Club' started by YachtForums, Jun 12, 2010.

  1. YachtForums, Jun 12, 2010
    #1
    YachtForums

    YachtForums Administrator

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    The word "layover" must have been carefully selected by the airline legal staff. There is no place to 'lay" and I'm over this. Normally, a layover is chance to people watch. But I'm in Newark. All I see is the cast from Gremlins.

    On today's flight, I learned something new. Bulkhead seats are located near the lav. A long flight means a long line. An aisle seat means someones butt is in your face waiting for the lav. This brings me to my recent situation on Continental flight 1555 out of PBI...

    Bertha, for lack of a better name to describe this hideous beast standing next to me with her bum in close proximity, is about give birth. I know this based on the distinct fragrance emanating from her coordinates. My God, if she releases any more methane, the plane's gonna gain altitude. This is whole new form of terrorism! The captain needs to issue an amber alert. Maybe a new FAA rule: Flatula and flying are not permitted.

    And while I'm ranting from this oversize roll of aluminum foil with winglets, I'm amazed how people have no awareness of their caboose. For God's sake, if you have to turn sideways to walk the aisle, chances are you should have been charged for extra baggage.

    So here I am, enjoying the Continental Presidents Club WiFi at Newark airport and a free drink. Can you tell?
  2. PropBet, Jun 12, 2010
    #2
    PropBet

    PropBet Senior Member

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    After reading about your current adventure, I was immediately reminded of the wonderful Seat 29E story.

    Make the next drink and double, and let's hope your not seated next to "The Beast" on the next leg.
  3. Fishtigua, Jun 12, 2010
    #3
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    That's nothing Carl, just wait until you sit next to a large German bird who asks for extra sauerkraut on your transatlantic flight to Poland.

    Krakow is a whole new destination!! :eek:
  4. YachtForums, Jun 12, 2010
    #4
    YachtForums

    YachtForums Administrator

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    I'm so relieved (pun intended) to hear I'm not alone. I actually hoped for the oxygen mask to be deployed from the overhead! Not to make fun of a perfectly natural occurrence, but maybe airline pre-board instructions should include a list of foods not to eat?

  5. YachtForums, Jun 12, 2010
    #5
    YachtForums

    YachtForums Administrator

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    Gotta hop aboard a big puddle jumper. Will be offline until sometime tomorrow. PB, Fish... keep an eye on the kids!
  6. PropBet, Jun 12, 2010
    #6
    PropBet

    PropBet Senior Member

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    Travel safe Buddy!
    Looking forward to the next updates.
  7. RER, Jun 12, 2010
    #7
    RER

    RER Senior Member

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    Ha!... I used to be an aisle seat guy until I had a similar experience. It's amazing to me how they line up in the aisle immediately after take off. I mean, they've been sitting at the gate for at least 90 minutes before boarding. Maybe you could think ahead a little? And I'm a window seat guy now.
  8. bigboatbill, Jun 12, 2010
    #8
    bigboatbill

    bigboatbill Senior Member

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    Small price to pay for the week ahead! I am still jealous even in spite of the bucket of raw meat you will travel the next 3000 miles next to....
  9. Fishtigua, Jun 13, 2010
    #9
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    Dear Uncle Carl,

    Thanks very much for leaving the keys to the boat at the house, PropBet, bill and I had a great night out in the Bahamas. When we got back, the 4 Russian girls we picked up took a liking to your new i-Pad, hope you do'nt mind. Oh and the TV and the computer.

    The truck looks so much better after the English soccer hooligans had sprayed their comments about fumbling balls down the side panels.

    Your nearly Nephew

    Fish

    Give K1W1 a big kiss from me, so huggable. :D
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2010
  10. Yacht News, Jun 13, 2010
    #10
    Yacht News

    Yacht News YF News Editor

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    LMAO That was funny Fish!
  11. Fishtigua, Jun 13, 2010
    #11
    Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

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    Dear Uncle Carl,

    When you pick the rental car up at the airport, please pay attention when they say fill it with diesel, they really mean it. Only scooters run on Gas in europe these days.

    Our Dutch friends will offer you Sprinkles for breakfast, take'em, they will make you smile in a funny way all day. :cool:

    Hopefully you will get some ace photos while you're over there.

    Please can you bring me back a 'Cuddle-me-K1W1' soft toy, I'm sure there are thousands going cheap.

    Fish :D
  12. Arniev, Jun 13, 2010
    #12
    Arniev

    Arniev Senior Member

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    Hey, Carl.
    Actually, the seats next to the airplane doors are also called bulkhead seats. These are actually the best seats in Economy Class, since there are no seats in front of you, and you can stretch out your legs.
    Needless to say ... Have A Pleasant Trip!
    Arnie
    :)