Mild Hogs Motorcycle Trip...

Mild Hogs Motorcycle Trip​

It only took 22 years to break the shackles of the keyboard and check-off about the only item on my bucket list... a motorcycle trip thru Colorado, Wyoming and Montana. The trip took 2 weeks and we covered 2500 miles. I did the trip with a group of friends who feared we may not be able to hold our bikes upright if we waited any longer! We're all in our 60s now. Our trip started in Steamboat Springs, CO where we loaded the bikes on a trailer and towed them up to Wyoming, just outside Yellowstone National Park where a friend let us leave the truck and trailer on her property. This pic was taken in Steamboat. The ski slopes are in the background.

Got the bikes unloaded and headed up to Teton Village before arriving at our hotel in Jackson Hole. A bug was kind enough to fly into my eye at the outset of the trip. Kept my visor down from that point on. Here's a pic of the Mild Hogs; two trying to turn back the clock with BMW canyon carvers and one forum admin longing to live in the analogue age.

Requisite shot of the Grand Tetons in the background. Pictures of the Tetons can't come close to grasping the scale of these mountains. The landscape of Yellowstone is diverse; Bison, bears and elk roam freely among other wildlife like Bubba and his 5th wheel camper.

The following day we set-out to tame the Beartooth Scenic Bypass, one of the most scenic drives in the country with switchbacks and elevation changes that would humble the most seasoned rider. Add elements from mother nature and your riding skills are soon replaced with survival skills. At around 11,000 feet a cloud moved in and it was a complete white-out. We waited for it to pass but it was getting dark so we slowly made our way back down the mountain. Before the cloud, speeds were in the 50s and 60s. Post cumulus, speed was 15 - 20 mph.

The cloud was a clue of the challenges ahead. The temp dropped from low 70s to high 40s inside 30 minutes, then it started raining followed by pelting hail. I had a leather jacket on but still got bruises on my arms. This went on for 90 minutes before we got to our cabin and found the heater wasn't working. Took an hour stop shaking! My last name may be Camper, but I am NOT! We ditched the KOA and gladly over paid for a motel in Red Lodge, Montana

The following day we left Red Lodge and plotted a course for Bozeman, MT which would put us on the interstate for about 100 miles. In Florida, I avoid interstates on a motorcycle because I don't like the taste of hospital food. But in Montana, people drive like civilized humans and it was a pleasant ride, albeit slightly under the posted speed limit of 80 mph! After fueling up both bike and body in Bozeman, we headed south to Big Sky, MT., one of the many scenic routes we would ride. Lots of great fly fishing along the river that traces the highway down to Big Sky. And here's a fish out of water; a Florida bum in cowboy country...

From Big Sky we rode south to Jackson Hole; home to a few cowboys, a bunch of billionaires and some seriously overpriced real estate. Jackson is a very touristy town and a nice place to visit, but the Zillow math doesn't add up.

Being a tourist trap, Jackson is home to a bunch of t-shirt stores so I made a contribution. Now I'm a human billboard...

From downtown Jackson you can see the ski slopes which is my preferred method of interacting with them. I'm not only a human billboard, I'm a human snowball when it comes to downhill sports.

We left Jackson, loaded the bikes up and drove back to Steamboat where we took a couple days to recover from monkey butt. If you're not familiar with this term, try riding 200-300 miles a day for several days and you'll have a better understanding. My view for most of the trip was very analogue. Nothing digital with the exception of a communication headset manufactured by Sena Technologies that gave up the ghost two days into our ride.

Spent the better part of a week battling tech support at Sena who reluctantly stood behind their product. Got online and found I wasn't alone. For the rest of the trip, I had no communication with fellow riders. No music. No phone. WAIT... what am I complaining about??? I have never used YF as a platform to disparage a manufacturer but it's time to make an exception. I learned that Sena also makes comsets for the marine applications, so here's my suggestion... buy another brand!

After a three day layover in Steamboat, still battling Sena in hopes of getting my faulty headset replaced before our next leg, I gave up hope and we began our Colorado tour. After a 90 minute ride south and before getting on I-70 for an hour long sprint to Glenwood Springs, my geriatric friends with aging bladders had to stop for relief and of all the places... pulled over at the Yacht Club Grill! What are the chances? Middle of nowhere, not a boat in sight.

It was early in the morning and the Yacht Club was closed so I took the opportunity to take a picture of my mistress. For the uninitiated, it's a 2008 Honda VTX1800T. I had the identical bike for 20 years and never rode it. Too dangerous in Florida. Bought this one last year, freshened it up and it will reside in Colorado where I've made a pact with myself to return and explore roads less traveled.

Our next stop was Aspen but to get there you need to pass through Glenwood Canyon. I was riding so I couldn't take a picture. Here's an image I found on DDG...

Aspen is about 90 minutes south of Glenwood Springs. That put us about 5 hours of riding time for the day so I stopped in "my" pharmacy to search for monkey butt remedies.

Downtown Aspen is quaint, although pretentious. It's honestly reminiscent of every episode I've never watched of the Housewives of (insert city here). This pic of the Exxon gas station in Aspen best represents the city; clean, upscale and expensive.

Walking around downtown I spotted a vaguely familiar name. I think they have something to do with boats but there wasn't a dock to be found anywhere.

The next few days were spent exploring the mountains of southwest Colorado. We passed through Montrose, Marble, Gunnison, Buena Vista, Fairplay and finally Breckenridge on our return trip to Steamboat. We rode Cottonwood Pass and Independence Pass, the highest road in CO. All of these roads are amazing on a bike, or a good sports car.

My friends are on Beemers built to tame high speed sweepers. I'm on a cruiser built to make Harleys look like a relic of the cold war. It's not the best scoot for twisties, but it never let me down.

I have more pics from the mountains but instead of spoiling it for you, get a bike and go! The best part of frozen fingers is not being able to type!