Click for Mulder Click for Burger Click for Furuno Click for Abeking Click for Mulder

Boat Jokes...

Discussion in 'Popular Yacht Topics' started by YachtForums, Jan 12, 2004.

  1. Norseman

    Norseman Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Messages:
    2,905
    Location:
    Ft. Lauderdale
    One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went sailing.

    ;)
  2. brian eiland

    brian eiland Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,952
    Location:
    St Augustine, Fl and Thailand
    New Batmobile !!

    Even Batman has fallen on hard times with this fuel pricing.

    He has had to downsize the Batmobile.
    He's gone from 70 gallons per mile, to 70 miles per gallon!
    :eek:


    .....posted the pic over here as I thought it might be time to inject a little humor into out current fuel price discussions

    http://www.yachtforums.com/forums/126119-post362.html
  3. chesapeake46

    chesapeake46 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,776
    Location:
    Chesapeake Bay, Delaware Bay & S.Jersey
    When I was young, I met a great girl.
    We were deeply in love and I asked her to marry me.
    She accepted and I was elated.
    Her folks had a place on the water and I often picked her up in my little speedboat and we would go water skiing.

    One day I stopped in to pick her up and go out on the boat.
    My future bride was not home but her younger sister was.
    The sister was as stunning as my fiance and she was dressed in a little white halter top and shorty shorts.
    She said" I know this is wrong but I always wanted to sleep with you.
    Once your married we can never do it but if you follow me upstairs now we can use this one last chance."

    My knees started to shake and my palms were sweaty and I didn't know what to think.
    I turned on my heel and bolted out the door only to be met by my future father-in-law.
    With tears in his eys he said " welcome to the family son, you've proved you're worthy of my daughter."

    The moral of the story is " always keep your condoms in your little speedboat..........."
  4. johnny mac

    johnny mac New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2010
    Messages:
    14
    Location:
    Great Lakes area
    Got to jump in!

    Some of these are really good. So here goes...and please those of you that are involved with GreenPeace or the like...take a chill pill.

    A seal walks into a bar in Toronto and jumps up onto the bar stool. Bar tender walks over and asks, "what'll have"! The seal replies, "anything but a Canadian Club".
  5. NYCAP123

    NYCAP123 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    11,205
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    Definitely not PC, but humorous. :)
  6. JWY

    JWY Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2004
    Messages:
    1,507
    Location:
    Ft. Lauderdale
    How Many Forum Posters

    Borrowed from another forum so of course this isn't applicable to YF :D

    How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?*

    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
    light bulb could have been changed differently
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
    Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
    bulb" is perfectly correct
    19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take
    this discussion to a light bulb forum
    11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
    bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
    36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
    buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
    technique and what brands are faulty
    5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs
    15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and their own light bulbs
    7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
    4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
    corrected URL's
    13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
    headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
    5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
    handle the light bulb controversy
    4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
    13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about
    light bulbs"
    1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that Barak O. isn't
    the brightest bulb.
    4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
    1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.
    1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
    start it all over again.
  7. NYCAP123

    NYCAP123 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    11,205
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    RU referring to incandescents, LEDs or.....:rolleyes:
  8. dennismc

    dennismc Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2009
    Messages:
    1,175
    Location:
    Vancouver BC
    light bulbs

    Banned for illegal posting of potentially advertising "light Bulbs over LED lights.
  9. FutureYachter

    FutureYachter Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2010
    Messages:
    50
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    I'll put it on my calendar to make sure I remember to do this. ;)
  10. K1W1

    K1W1 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Messages:
    7,388
    Location:
    My Office
    Hi,

    While we are including Marine Animals in this thread here is one about a penguin.

    A penguin is cruising along the interstate when suddenly steam and all erupts out of the front of his car. Luckily there's a garage just a bit further on, so he pulls in and the garage guy comes out to take a look at the car.

    While he's busy checking out what's wrong, the penguin wanders off to get a snack. It has to be said he's a bit of a messy eater (what with the beak and flippers and all).

    Anyway, he comes back to the damaged car after a while, and the guy says: "Whoa, looks like you've blown a seal!"

    "Nah," says the penguin, "this is just vanilla ice cream..."
  11. brian eiland

    brian eiland Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,952
    Location:
    St Augustine, Fl and Thailand
    Horrifying Sight

    Horrifying Sight1.jpg
    What is that?

    Scroll down for the horrifying answer









    Horrifying Sight2.jpg
  12. Fishtigua

    Fishtigua Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2007
    Messages:
    2,937
    Location:
    Guernsey/Antigua
    At the airport, Murphy sets his i-Phone to airplane mode.

    With great effort, he threw it as hard as he could into the air.

    As it crashed onto the tarmac in little bits, he turns to Paddy and says.......

    "Thats the worst Transformer EVER....."!!!!!!
  13. Old Phart

    Old Phart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    1,332
    Location:
    I dunno
  14. Old Phart

    Old Phart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    1,332
    Location:
    I dunno

    Actually, that was my second thought.

    My first thought, after seeing the laptops and the look of discontent on Obama's face, was this little Internet alteration, that perhaps someone had downloaded for testing the room's Internet connection prior to the actual event. :D





    Mirror Mirror on the Wall.jpg
  15. MaxPower

    MaxPower Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2008
    Messages:
    427
    Location:
    At Sea ... Aahhh ...
    High curbs ...

    not a boat joke, but hilarious ...

    couldn't resist ...

    :D

    Attached Files:

  16. 'RoundTheHorn

    'RoundTheHorn Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    273
    Location:
    Salish Sea
  17. MaxPower

    MaxPower Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2008
    Messages:
    427
    Location:
    At Sea ... Aahhh ...
  18. Old Phart

    Old Phart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2011
    Messages:
    1,332
    Location:
    I dunno
    The look of Certitude - The cat's out of the bag.

    A New Yorker whose ship just sunk in the harbor.

    Happy Face Weiner.jpg
  19. NYCAP123

    NYCAP123 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    11,205
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
    I'm still waiting for that repub who got caught picking up boys in the airport men's room and the other messing with pages a few year ago to quit. So I wouldn't hold my breath. It does seem that only one party quits when caught with their pants down though.
  20. Kevin

    Kevin YF Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    3,049
    Location:
    Montreal, Qc, Canada
    That is a highly accurate summary. The only thing missing was Nazis.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin's_law