Boat Jokes...

Two Irish lads are strolling down a street in Liverpool, England, when they spot a shop window that reads:

Suits £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers and Dresses £5.00.

One turns to the other and says, "Would ya look at those feckin' prices? We could buy a boatload, haul it back to Ireland, and make a fortune — double, maybe even treble the money!"

The other lad says, "That’s a grand idea, but d’ya think they’ll sell to us if they know we’re Irish?"

The first lad grins and says, "Don’t worry, I’ve got this," and walks in, putting on his finest English accent:

"Good afternoon! I'd like twenty suits, thirty jackets, fifty pairs of trousers, and twenty-five dresses, please."

The shop assistant squints and says, "You’re Irish, aren’t you?"

The lad replies, "Ah feck, how’d ya guess?"

The assistant smiles and says, "This is a dry cleaners."

Who remembers these details?

Oldie but still a great plan..

No Joke, too true…

Been there, Done that, Been stuck a few times.

Me too, once I panicked in a cockpit locker, couldn’t get out, tried to break arm and shoulder bones just to escape. Horrible feeling

“FLORIDA CAUTION:
In regard to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, as well as those wanting to visit...
Before you come to Florida to visit you must be aware of what is happening here. Especially, around the rural and well, All of Florida. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...
So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our river bottoms, beaches or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.
On both the Florida coasts, Bull Sharks are bigger than Jaws & way more aggressive. The Beaches are overrun with Portuguese Man of War Jelly Fish & the Sting Rays are as big as a Volkswagen Beatle.
Our lakes are full of gators, freshwater sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos.
Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.
Florida cougars have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.
The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.
Snakes... don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras.
The poison ivy has overtaken all other vegetation.
We have had bobcat sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars.
Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season.
We have the Skunk Ape invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.
Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local neighborhoods looking for victims.”
Credit: unknown