[YachtForums]

Women: As Explained by Engineers

(Disclaimer: to our female viewers... you have to admit, this is funny!)

[Nismo350Z33]

Haha, those are some good ones!

Here's if women ruled the world.

[Garry Hartshorn]

Sometimes I wonder

[Codger]

The Blue Cars- Red Cars gave me a good laugh. Perfect memory jog of second wife.
"Oh, that one must have been inexpensive, it doesn't even have a roof."
But, she could pick out the grade of a diamond from a hundred paces.

[YachtForums]

Originally Posted by Codger

Perfect memory jog of second wife. "Oh, that one must have been inexpensive, it doesn't even have a roof."

You have to admit, she had a point. I've always wondered why convertibles cost more... when you get less car!

Switching comments: One of my ex-girlfriends once asked "Carl, do boats come with names on them?"

This is why she's an ex!

[YachtForums]

Women as an equation...?

[brunick]

*hrhrhrhrhr*

[ERTW]

Some good engineering jokes! I remember the women as an equation in a engineering time table book for university, it worked out to women = evil thou! lol

[revdcs]

The following is an actual question given to The University of Washington Chemistry students for their mid term exam. One answer was so profound that the professor shared it with his colleagues, which is why we can enjoy it today.

Bonus question :- Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic, (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up as it is compressed). One student, however, wrote the following :-

First we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle's law states that the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities :-

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks lose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls into Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year, that "... it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in have sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze!


The student received the only 'A' given.

[Loren Schweizer]

Stop!
I got TEARS coming out of my eyes!

It will be interesting to see if, judging from (any) female responses, if Gary Hartshorn's 'Female Brain' (above, post #3) has for it's Sense of Humor area a large oval or a molecule-sized spot.

I would suspect the latter(?)

[revdcs]

Originally Posted by Loren Schweizer

Stop!
I got TEARS coming out of my eyes!

It will be interesting to see if, judging from (any) female responses, if Gary Hartshorn's 'Female Brain' (above, post #3) has for it's Sense of Humor area a large oval or a molecule-sized spot.

I would suspect the latter(?)

Loren has a point!

Although most of the women I know have a good sense of humour and give as much as they get in banter between the genders, I guess I had better do something to redress the balance...

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God...
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful
garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic
snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a 'man,' Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie,
cheat, and be vain and glorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time.
But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He
will look silly aroused, but since you've been complaining,
I'll create him in such in a way that he will satisfy your ah, physical
needs. He'll be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and
kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice
to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
"What's the catch, Lord?"
"Yeah, well.... You can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...So you'll have to
let him believe that I made him first..
So, just remember... it's our secret...Woman-to-woman!"