[NYCAP123]

Well, my geography knowledge is now increased. Used to be that story could have been written about any number of hollers in the Blue Ridge mountains but they had to get citified for breading purposes.

[revdcs]

Try this - but don't cheat and look at the answers:

1) Pick your favourite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3
(I'll wait while you get the Calculator....)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....
5) Add the digits together
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With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Mother Teresa
4. Imelda Marcos
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Nelson Mandela
8. Neil Armstrong
9. Karl
10. Barack Obama

Yes - he really does have that effect on people....one day you too can be just like Him!

[CaptTom]

I didn't realize Karl/Carl has changed his name to one word, like Cher or Madonna. Maybe he'll change it to a symbol, like Prince. Anyone want to guess what that symbol would look like (I'm thinking one side will be pointy, other side flat, and will have rotor blades).

[revdcs]

Originally Posted by CaptTom

I didn't realize Karl/Carl has changed his name to one word, like Cher or Madonna. Maybe he'll change it to a symbol, like Prince. Anyone want to guess what that symbol would look like (I'm thinking one side will be pointy, other side flat, and will have rotor blades).

.....

[FISHTIGUA]

Whats the difference between a Kangaroo and a Kangaroot?












Ones an aussie marsupial.............












The other is a Scotsman stuck in an elevator.

[NYCAP123]

?

[revdcs]

Originally Posted by NYCAP123

?

Yes - it does lose something in the translation!

Imagine someone from Sclotland, especially Glasgow, saying 'Ah canna git oot'



P.S - Sorry to Carl. A misstroke of the keys.

[NYCAP123]

Originally Posted by revdcs

Yes - it does lose something in the translation!

Imagine someone from Sclotland, especially Glasgow, saying 'Ah canna git oot'



P.S - Sorry to Carl. A misstroke of the keys.

I was just tellin Fish how hard it is for humor to survive the trip across the pond...in either direction. This NYer will just accept that they're roaring over there. Thanks to you and Fish both for trying to help the helpless.

[FISHTIGUA]

Ed,

I'll tell this one slowly.

Murphy returns to Newport News for refit after a long deployment away in the Gulf.

First furlough, he heads for the roughest bar and meets a chick. They get talking and looking into each others eyes.

After a few drinks and dances, they are touching hands and feeding each other beernuts in that sexy way only sailors know.

As the Schlitz Beer sign flashes behind her head, she strokes Murph's cheek, leans towards him and whispers "Honey, I'll do anything for you, for just $150,as long as you can say it in 3 words".


Murph thinks for a while and says.........................

















Paint.....my.......boat





The old ones are the best

[YachtForums]

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12.. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
3. Don't block the TV

[FISHTIGUA]

No sweat, my dear.

Now step aboard the pretty wooden classic yacht.

That'll teach her, who once had nails.

[FISHTIGUA]

Q.

Which of the following is a strange noise made by Canadians?


A.

[PropBet]

(caution... foul language.... but quite funny)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTu3n-DF-Zc

[FISHTIGUA]

That is very naughty, very bad.

A keeper

[FISHTIGUA]

I've just heard on the radio a Semi has shed its load of pooltable kit all over the freeway.

There are cues for miles.