| Just for a laugh
Got this from a friend on a boat, the owner gave it to all his friends that came onboard
Boat Rules For Guest
If you will kindly observe the following rules, it will be a hell of a lot easier and more comfortable for the crew …. After all, whose boat is this.
1. Keep your goddam feet off the varnish.
2. Don’t get snooty with the crew. Remember your skipper is still learning. He’s probably more scared than you.
3. Keep your goddam feet off the varnish.
4. If a fellow passenger gets anxious, knock him on the head with an EMPTY whiskey bottle.
5. Eyes forward at all times.
6. No loose hooks or fish in the cockpit.
7. Don’t ask embarrassing Questions of the crew such as
• Where are we ??
• What time will we dock?
• Does the radio work?
• Where is the head?
• How’s the weather? Is the front up ahead? (Hell, they don’t know)
8. If you don’t like the food , to hell with you - the boss likes it.
9. Keep your goddam feet off the varnish.
10. Only six people allowed in the head at a time. Please observe.
11. Don’t put anything into the head you haven’t already swallowed.
12. Keep your goddam feet off the varnish.
13. Be thankful if you arrive anywhere.
14. Shut Up. Keep your goddam feet off the varnish.
15. Don’t bother the Skipper. He is along for the ride, too
16. Always let the crew off first – after all she might be sinking
17. Don’t offer to help the Skipper or crew. Let them screw things up their own way.
18. if your feet get wet, don’t show any fear – you might frighten the crew.
19. If you drop peanuts or potato chips on the decks, please clean them up by mouth. Same for coffee and sun-tan lotion.
20. By all means DO NOT get seasick, at least not until you are ashore.
21. While onboard, the Captain has the authority to perform marriages.
22. The Captain’s not always right, but he’s still the Captain
23. KEEP THOSE FEET OFF THE GODDAM VARNISH!!!!!!
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