Final Ft. Lauderdale Cruise of 2011 - YF Crew Banter & Bash

Final Ft. Lauderdale Cruise of 2011

YF Editorial Crew: Boat Bash!

A late December cold front sweeping through South Florida promised sunny
skies and calm seas, so Carl called on his Motley Crew of writers, photographers
and otherwise un-sea-soned professionals for a day of boat bashing.

YF's Carl Camper, along with Tom Serio, Loren Schweizer, Judy Waldman and Chuck Gnaegy took a cruise through the canals & coves of the Venice of America as we bid farewell to year 2011. In a never done before ad-lib, slap-stick look at yachting's lighter side, you’ll find some colorful commentary by the crew along with Tom's photo perspective. If you're landlocked, chained to a keyboard or covered in snow, then skip the New Year's work ethic resolution, kick your feet up and follow along as we banter about boats and bash everything that floats. To bring our team of editorial misfits together, we had to get YF's unofficial, knot-quite-a-yacht, photo boat from Palm Beach to Port Everglades, where Tom focused on boats and the rest of us blurred the pics with a little behind-the-screen banter that left a few boats taking on water...

Tom: We dedicate this lazy lizard, affectionately known as the Sunrise Blvd. bridge
tender to how ugly 2011 was. Here's to the Dawn of a new year!

Carl: Ditto bro! Out with the old and in with the young!

Tom: Looking like the cat's meow was this large power catamaran, named "First Boat".

Carl: Built by Mares in 1996, this boat was originally named "Bright Hour". Living up to that name, this cat was listed for $1.4 million when the president of First Bank had a Bright Idea and purchased it at auction for $600k. He subsequently named it "First Boat" (as in First Bank). It must have been, otherwise he'd know that shallow tunnel will slap you silly in a head sea.

Chuck: Looks like he can't tell which side is up. He's got bottom paint on the superstructure.

Judy: Good thing they didn't name it "Night" - can you imagine the selling price of a boat named "Night Mares"...?

Tom: Detailed in the F&S thread, that new express yacht now has a new name, "T/T HEMISPHERE". You have to imagine... if this is a 54-foot tender, then the main yacht has got to be BIG.

Carl: The main yacht is the world's largest catamaran sailboat; Hemisphere. Construction originally began at Derecktor but some buttheads butted heads and the barebones boat was shipped to Pendennis to be finished.

Tom: As we cruised on a weekday, we didn't have to deal with the weekend-warriors but did have to be cognizant of the commercial guys doing their jobs. Yes, we shared the road with the tug guys. Hey, they're boaters too, aren't they?

Carl: No, they are bargers.

Judy: Bummer, what a drag.

Loren: An enclosed flybridge suspended atop the skylounge...these commercial guys are cutting edge.

Tom: This guy has an ocean cruiser and a land cruiser. Sweet rides.

Carl: A Prevost and a Silverton. Vehicular polar opposites. One requires two engines to go half as fast.

Chuck: A Camper with a house on the intracoastal? Keep dreamin' Carl.

Loren: Tom couldn't find a more appropriate Winnebago/Westport combo along the way.

Tom: Reminding me of a blue version of a snowman, our fearless keyboard master was fearful of the cold weather that beseiged us on this frosty morning and bundled up as we hit the ocean. It was cold out, but warmed nicely as we headed to "Hot Lauderdale".

Carl: OMG, it's the Michelin Man!

Chuck: Where's the valve stem?

Judy: C'mon Tom, this isn't the head shot we were waiting for!

Loren: Nanook of the South!

Tom: I could speculate on where sportfish 'Speculator' was going, but I would just be guessing.

Chuck: Why do you need a 70-foot boat to catch a 5-foot fish?

Tom: So all your friends can see you catch a 5-foot fish.

Loren: Taking a speculative guess here, I'd say she's a local build: Merritt.

Tom: It took us a while to catch up to Ocean Yacht's MarySol, as she had a great cut of speed. But pushing on them throttles, the Powerplay made the pass, and scored.

Carl: The roof overhang on the back of the skylounge doubles as a spoiler. Helps offset the drag coefficient of this Kenworth!

Judy: Looks half-fast to me.

Loren: Well sure you passed him... the poor guy's tabs are busted.

Tom: A sentry at night and marker during the day, the Hillsboro Lighthouse stands tall. Can't say so much for the Hillsboro Inlet sea buoy as we did a very close pass to give it a clang.

Carl: Spraying markers is a right of passage. It also cleans gull-doo.

Judy: At least you weren't marking territory.

Loren: Now, spraying the lighthouse might make a story...

Tom: It's tough to get a clean photo at 50 mph.

Tom: We continued to blast south towards warmer latitudes and leave frigid Palm Beach behind. And that's no reflection on the women of the county (or is it?).

Carl: How did you get that shot at 50 knots???

Judy: Tom just wanted proof that Carl could drive straight when he wanted.

Loren: Tom's Photo Tips #6: saltwater lens cleaner.

Tom: You know these cruise ships are getting too big when they fill the lens of your camera when they are docked, and you are still outside of the inlet.

Carl: Definition of a cruise ship: a city at sea leaving fertilizer in its wake.

Judy: I would name them "Jonah": a whale that belches forth people.

Loren: Gotta look very closely to tell if she's coming in or going out.

Tom: A familiar site when coming in Port Everglades are the condos on the starboard side. Great perch for viewing yachts. Maybe I should start a business condo-sitting for all those folks who didn't make it down this winter, as evident by all the hurricane shutters still up.

Carl: As if police presence in Port Everglades wasn't enough, we have Condo Commandos at the Port entrance too.

Judy: They built the condos to stop the Azimuts from landing on both sides.

Loren: On the flip side, when in a 13 Whaler way out past the shipping lanes, these are what you stand up and look for to find The Way Back.

Tom: Enough said.

Chuck: Can we get a one week sea trial if we do a review?

Judy: Size matters!

Loren: ...and the yellow Peterson's fuel barge is waiting for?

Tom: Don't know if this guy is happy to see us or that a boat is going to tie him to a rope and make him fly.

Carl: Peace brother. Your mom dresses you funny.

Loren: Flunked bungee-jumping school.

Tom: Nice job on that phone number, C-man. No free advertising here.

Tom: Making a beeline for the ocean is M/Y Cuor Di Leone. Anyone care to venture and explain the name?

Carl: Italian for "Lionheart". Not to be confused with "bestia sin corazón" or Beast Without a Heart; translated into English means "Dawn".

Chuck: And 2012 will bring a new Dawn.

Loren:... tried to shoot "Bestia di Leone", but she's out on charter.

Carl: LOL! Literally!! Fine by me, let the new guy pay her 'charter' fee...